Back to School

Fortunately, my kids are still too little for school.  This morning, my facebook news feed has been clogged with lots of friends' kids on their first day back to school.  I've been thinking a lot about this lately because this time next year Jack could be going to kindergarten.  I say "could" because we haven't decided whether or not to hold him back a year.  Anyone who knows me knows I've agonized about this almost since Jack's birth.  Stupid, I know.  Just when I think I've made my mind up one way, I talk to someone who throws out benefits for the other way and I'm back at square one. 

I've talked with Jack's preschool teacher who thinks it would be crazy to hold him back.  I've talked with his pediatrician who acknowledged that most boys with his birthday are held back.  I've talked with countless friends with boys with summer birthdays and there seems to be no consensus among them either.  There are so many moving parts to this decision like maturity level, personality, academic ability and social skills.  He excels in some areas like academic ability and social skills, but in others I think he falls way behind.  He has a lack of motivation that won't serve him well in school or in life and that has me concerned.  Part of me thinks I should just hold him back and give him the most amount of time to prepare.  The other part says if he's ready, then just put him in. 

And then I think of myself.  Forget Jack, I'M NOT READY to send my baby to school.  The thought sends chills down my spine.  Where did these last few years go?  It seems like just yesterday I held a little 3 pound baby and prayed to God to let us keep him.  He answered our prayers and I'm not ready to send him out into the world just yet.  Luckily, I have a whole year to figure this out and prepare him.  And myself.